You’ve already heard this song and dance from me: I’m tired. Not just yawn-and-grab-a-coffee tired—like my brain and body are refusing to get it together. And honestly, my mental stability is sitting in a void somewhere, which is as boring as it sounds.
Being bipolar and having BPD means I feel every emotion on steroids. If something is sad for a neurotypical person, it’s the end of the world for me. Add my OCD brain into the mix, and I’ll sit there obsessing over that end-of-the-world moment like it’s a full-time job. And when things are stable? Oh, don’t be fooled—it’s not as peaceful as it sounds. My favorite phrase during stability is “I don’t know.” Because I really don’t know. I’m not swayed one way or another, and that uncertainty? I feel that to the thousandth power, too. Then I obsess about not being able to decide, and boom—back to square one.
But here’s the flip side: life itself is actually good. Like, really good. Hubby and I have been winning lately. We’re financially stable, we get to go places when we want, and we have the basics covered—roof over our heads, food in our bellies. It’s taken us years to get here, but it feels so worth it. We just passed our 9-year dating anniversary last month, and we are absolutely thriving in the third-shift lifestyle. We get to do family functions, spend plenty of time together, and I even get to sneak in website work while I’m at work. Sleeping through the day? Honestly perfect for us.
Of course, we keep things a little unconventional—like, not just with our sleep schedule, but with how we’ve set up our home. The “den room” is actually the upstairs master bedroom, but instead of a bedroom, it’s basically our hobby cave. Big TV, gaming setup, couch, all the cozy stuff you’d normally put in a living room. Then there’s the second bedroom, which we call the “closet room.” Mirrors on two walls, my vanity desk, a mountain of storage cubes—basically where I stash all my beauty and self-care toys: face steamer, wax pot, brow lamination kits, wigs, you name it. Now we’re also turning it into a home gym with our walking pad and stair stepper, slowly adding to it as we dive into this health-and-fitness journey.
And where do we actually sleep? The living room. Yep, no couch downstairs. Instead, we’ve got our king-sized bed, a projector (after our 75-inch TV died a few months ago), an entertainment center with a built-in fireplace, and our fish tank on top. It’s our little cozy cave, and honestly? I love it.
Our kitchen, though? Teeny-tiny townhouse style. One of those setups where if you turn around, you’re at the sink. We recently added a portable dishwasher (total lifesaver—wish we’d gotten one years ago), but that ate up half our counter space. So now we’re waiting on a little floating island/kitchenette thing to be delivered later this week. Fingers crossed it sparks some joy.
Speaking of joy, I’ve been obsessed with rearranging the house lately. Storage bins and cubes have basically taken over my brain. But here’s the kicker—I don’t know if we should completely swap rooms around or just move furniture. Do I know what I want? Nope. Do I know that I want something? Absolutely. For now, it’s just brainstorming. Hubby’s on his long weekend—6p to 6a shifts—so we can’t really tackle anything until that’s over. But come Monday morning? Oh, you already know something’s getting moved.
What’s Included:
📅 Daily Planner – Plan your day hour-by-hour, track meals, jot down your main focus, to-dos, and notes.
🗓 Weekly Planner – Map out your entire week, track habits, set to-dos, and reflect with gratitude.
📆 Monthly Planner – Get a big-picture view of your month with plenty of space for notes and goals.